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DEADWORLD
ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE
Answer these questions and
you'll know if you're ready to deal in a
world over-run by zombies searching for fresh meat...
the kind that is found on your bones.
- If a zombie approaches you, what should you
do?
- Just run...those things are damn slow. (But for some reason,
that never works...dunno why)
- Fall down and pretend you’re dead.
- Pretend you’re a life insurance salesman...they’ll leave.
- What's the best way of killing a zombie?
- Shooting it in the head.
- Put it on a high polyunsaturated fat diet.
- Duh-they’re already dead, you know.
- If zombies are dead, why do they want to eat
humans?
- To test how full they can get their intestines
- boredom
- hungry- they haven’t had anything to eat since 3 days before their funeral wake
- What do zombies do when they’re not chasing
human flesh?
- play checkers
- gnaw on each other, that’s why they’re so decomposed
- watch re-runs of Gilligan’s Island
- What are a zombie’s biggest turn-ons?
- A visit to the Weight Watchers clinic (especially new clients)
- people in wheelchairs (especially those going uphill)
- comatose patients
- What are a zombie’s biggest turn-offs?
- Most beaches in California (way too much silicon replacing flesh)
- North Dakota (too much land to cover to find anybody)
- Florida (most sun-tanned skin down there is too tough to gnaw through)
- What do zombies call each other?
- Undead Brothers (or sisters, depending)
- The Un-living
- unnnggghhhh (I think that’s what they say)
uh, don't tell us you're really looking for
answers.
C'mon, did you really take it that seriously?
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