Deadworld Letters Page
(three of three)

Folks,
    I understand by reading releases in CBG, that Caliber is releasing the Deadworld collections. I really liked the firs issue so much so that I ordered a T-shirt.
Christopher, Ohio
   Folks? Did he really start that letter off with folks? Geez, I wonder about some of them warmies out there, maybe their brains are already rottin’ away. Hey, you come to me and I’ll give you a copy of the collection, sure, no problem. Why don’t you bring a whole mess of your pals with you too, and we can have a little party. Some brews, some laughs, and then we’ll rip out your fucking heart and put it on a spittle. Then we’ll put on your damn T-shirt, don’t worry about the size since you won’t have any arms or stomach, one size fits all.

Dear Zombie,
    Me and a few buddies have devised a board game such as Dungeons and Dragons. We used the rebellious heroes to put the walking hamburger piles in their place. The object of the game is not running away but to find you!! King Zombie, we’re after you! What’s even funnier, we can have sex with our women, you can’t...ha, ha, ha. Remember, KZ, all it takes is a roll of the dice, just a role. See you in Hell!
Assassin MC-10
    Why you little fart-bag. You wanna play games! I’ll roll your little beady eyes straight down my throat. Don’t forget, fresh meat, I can have sex with your women, and I can do it when they’re dead, too! Like to see you try it sometime.

Dear Caliber,
    I think Deadworld is great but one thing I don’t like is that you kill too many main characters. You call the group a band of survivors, but it doesn’t look like they’re surviving to me. Lately you have been killing too many of the main characters, you have to consider the readers you have who are rooting for the "Warmies."
Aaron, Ohio
  Hey, lissen’ here, bub. Nobody buys this rag to see the warmies get away from me and my pals. They buy the book so they can see who I get next. I won’t feel satisfied until the earth is warmie-free and guess what, buddy boy-that includes you! Pleasant dreams, turd, ‘cause I’ll be coming...sooner or later.

Dear Caliber Press,
    Can I subscribe to Deadworld? I’m sick of going down to my comic book stores only to be let down by not seeing any copies of Deadworld anywhere! I’d like to be receiving 3 copies of each format (the "not for wussies" cover and the graphic cover).
Chris, California
   Okay, lissen here, kid. Walk up to the guy that does the ordering, tell him your story (don’t beg like you did in the letter, it’s downright disgusting) and ask him to order more. If he says no, take his pinky finger on his left hand and bite the little fucker off. Ask him again, if he still says no, go for the thumb. With the fingers and toes, you got 20 pieces of anatomy to go after. If he still says no, for 21...and that should do it.

Deadworld,
    I’m writing to you for one reason. More Violence! I thrive off violence. What the fuck happened? I’m not a Charles Manson fan or anything, but this is the only book I read. IT rules all! King Zombie is one big, bad, mother-fucker and without violence, he looks like Pee-Wee Herman.
Scott
   Violence? This asshole complains about the lack of violence and then proceeds to spout some garbage poetry. Give me a break...and a slash...and a gouge.

Dear Mr. KZ,
    Hey dude, what’s up? Who will be your next victim? I’m really looking forward to you fighting that Wolverine in the ring, but let’s get down to the point, I am a so-called "Warmie." I want to blow your damn brains out, punk!
Mr. O’Rourke
   Who will be my next victim? Well, lets just say that I don’t think I’ll be getting any more letters from Mr. Turd-head O’Rourke.

Dear King Zombie,
    I have but one thing to say: Deadworld Kicks Ass! Go monthly!
Peter, Illinois
   Short and sweet, like fat girl fingers.

Dear King Zombie,
    Me think your comic Deadworld is very funny, purely a work of far-fetched fantasy. As any zombie knows, them softies should have been eaten by now.
Zombie Man, Ohio
   I know this guy’s a cold one cuz his handwriting is so bad. But don’t think I’m gonna need a co-star.

KZ,
    You low down dirty string o’ dog snot! Why didn’t you print my letter? Ain’t that a bitch! I took my time to write and you don’t show the world. No excuses, it doesn’t matter that your brain is dead! When greatness writes, you should pay attention! If you were at all smart, you’d be hound-doggin’ the women warmies, a much better cut of meat, I’m sure.
Danny, Nevada
   Funny guy. Was a funny guy, anyway. Y’see I chowed on the little shit and had Lady Fingers for dessert.

Fucken-a-Killer!
    I didn’t know what I was missing! I’d just love to see this rag in color so we could see some red blood, guts, disemboweling, and other delicious scenes. Aside from Jason, Michael, and Freddie, the intelligent geek biker is now on my list of un-living heroes!
Phil, California
   I’m sure you mean that I am at the top of that list...don’t you?  Betcha your choice of heroes makes your momma real proud.

Dear Dead People,
    I think that King Zombie is one totally cool dude. He’s really awesome. Do you think I could get a picture of him?
John, Ontario
   no, no, no...not cool! I’m cold, baby, cold! An’ getting my picture takin’ with an arm around one o’ you warmies always makes my stomach growl. Besides, ain't go no wallet sized pix left...passed them all out.

Deadworld,
    Recently, my husband and I opened a comic book store in Utah. One of the first things a customer asked me was, "Do you carry Deadworld?". I had never heard of the book but he introduced it to me. I read it right away and now I’m hooked. |We’ll definitely be carrying Deadworld in this store. Keep up the great work!
Mimi, Utah
   What about me, lady? You forgot to mention my magnificently horrible self! Well, you’re just lucky you live all the way out in Utah, otherwise you’d be Mimi marmalade.

Deadthings,
    I really dig Deadworld but wish you would stop using the term deadhead. The correct meaning has nothing to do with gore and violence but refers to the followers of the Grateful Dead, of which I am one. Please get your shit together and keep up the good work.
Andy, North Carolina
   (Dead-Head [ded-hed] n./ 1. A person using a free ticket as to get into a show. 2. A vehicle traveling without cargo or passengers. 3 [slang] a boring person. 4. One of the non-living, non-intelligent zombies which populate Deadworld.  So, there.  Shut your fuckin' trap.

Dear Deadworlders,
    Hi, my name is Jason (you know, Friday the 13th)...no, that’s a joke. But seriously, I just went out and bought Deadworld #1 and read it and I love it. It’s the best comic yet....I like the story about The Geeks.
Jason, Arkansas
   Deadworld...is not about The Geeks! It’s about me!!! Another mistake like that and I’ll have to send some of my boys around, and it won’t be fun for you.

Guys,
    I was really impressed with the premiere issue. I’ve been out of comics totally for awhile now, and yours has re-sparked my interest in the field again. This is the highest praise I could give it, I think.
Roger, Virginia
   Willy, the stupid zombie, ate out the middle of your letter before we had a chance to print it, Roger. Willy said it was spicy, with a hint of bouquet. Don’t worry though, Willy has promised never to do it again, as long as I give him back his lower jaw. I’m still thinking about it.

To the Makers of Deadworld,
    ...and another thing, make the evil of the Geek leader show more and more. Because he’s one hell of a damn menace that could fill the shoes of any phony-ass villain in comics today.
Joe, California
   Hey, Joe, whatever the hell you say. C’mere, Willy, I know you said something about this guy’s nuts, so now I’ll give you your lower jaw back.

To Deadworld,
    It happened on a very dark and gloomy night. We went to the airport to pick up my father, who was returning from a business trip. It was a quiet drive home and when we arrived, my father walked into the house, straight to his room and he locked the door. I didn’t think too much about it, but when I realized how bizarre it was that he didn’t say hello to anyone, I decided to sneak up to his room. I turned the corner and---that’s when I saw him, standing there with a huge grin on his face. I screamed as I realized what it was that he was holding high in his hand over that twisted smile of his. It was a copy of Deadworld #1. Deciding that my father was a crazed killer, I took the copy and ran to my room, just escaping with my life. I read the copy and loved every panel.
Jeff, Salisbury, Canada
   Jesus Christ!   I have to lissen to a full damn story?  Just give us the last line, jerk...we don't need to hear the rest of the crap.

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